Monday, July 19, 2010

Week 29 In Review

New Felted Cab Bangle
This is my first bangle using a real cab.  In this instance, a lovely Peruzi cab (which I got last week).  I have made my own needle felted and beaded cabs to complement this. This bangle also uses re-cycled materials (yay!).  Entitled the Peruzian Felt n Cuff.  If you go to the linked page, you will see lots more photos and some contruction notes.  There are lots of photos coz I was lucky and most of the photos taken, worked out :)

Spinning Wheels Going Nowhere
That pretty much sums up how I felt about the week just gone.  Of course that is not strictly true, but it certainly felt like it.

I was one of those cross-junctions kind of weeks - where one has to decide which direction to look at and focus on.  That is hard enough most times and grist for the procrastination mill.  What is sometimes equally hard is deciding what areas of your life to let go.  And this is made harder by the fact that though they don't give you as much returns as they once did or that you had hoped for (be it in terms of financial returns, or in terms of joy and satisfaction), they still have something in them that you value and would not like to give up.  But that you most likely must if you decide to focus on and to go in other directions.

And this kind of dilemma or conflict arises, the wheels in your head seems to spin; but in place, going nowhere.  So I have been trying to work my way through some of these issues with a head that is randomly spinning in protest at such hard work.

Fortunately .. as it always turns out (waaaaaay ...... down the track), these processes have to be done.  And I can always tell when I have reached one of these inner crossroads.  The flow in everything - even the everyday things in my life - gets stuck.  Nothing flows.  I also feel stuck inside.  And I get very very tired.  And that is because even though I am not consciously doing this, I expend a huge amount of energy trying not to have to deal with whatever decision is being asked of me and my life.

As I write this, I am not out of the woods yet.  The waters around me are still murky.  Tiredness still seeps sluggishly in my bones, and my head still spins dizzily on the inside.  And the writing - yes this writing - is a halting, error prone tedium.

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